I already want to yell at everyone. Lord help the kids who come near my lawn when I'm 50.
I hate you. I hate the world.
Back in the good old days...
And you thought you had to deal with Grumpy Cat. I am the God of Grumpy Cat.
I've come to hate all loud noises. Everything is suddenly a loud noise. People talking, people laughing (this especially annoys me), the sound of gossip making its way across telephone lines over the country...
I yearn for solitude yet when I have it, I wish for companionship. When I've got someone around me, I hate their every breath. Is this normal for a teenager-turning-adult? I don't think the problem is with me, however. It's with the stupid idiots surrounding me. All my friends are either:
A) not in the country
A) not in the country
B) characters in books
C) memories of their past selves who now no-longer give a crap about our friendship
Yes, I am hating the world.
It's not just that either. The people left here are the ones who don't appreciate the things I like. When I'm fangirling over something, I'd love to have someone who's read/seen the same thing. Online fandoms are lovely but I want someone who loves the things I do in real life. Who I can talk to. Hold on, you say. The world is a vast place full of different-minded people. Surely you can find at least ONE PERSON whose interests coincide with yours.
My first answer:
My second answer: no, you fool. No, I can't-- and not for lack of trying. I feel miserable here. I like no one. I'm a bonafide misfit. I'm not as sociable as I'm famed to be. I no longer tolerate idiocy and hypocrisy. Sometime ago I tweeted out, "To be a social creature you must reach a balance of intelligent speech and a certain tolerance level for idiocy". I can't reach that level of tolerance. As much as I try, I can't bring myself to smile at the mocking tones of people who still think I'm in the smaller university I've been attending for the past 2 years. The people who smirk as they wonder out loud why I'm fat. Those who advise me on healthy eating habits "to keep the bulk off, dear" as if I've been carrying around a bag of bulk that I don't want to relinquish. And especially the ones that make it their business to make sure I know that a teaching degree isn't as hard to attain as a degree in sciences.
This isn't a question of caring about what other's think. It's a question of being able to deal with the sneaky curveballs people keep throwing while they talk to me. Once in a while it's entertaining to throw one out, I'm guilty of having pitched my fair amount of them. But dang it, if we're playing baseball the whole darn time then can we at least have some proper pitching?!?!?
Erm, where was I?
I might not be an old grump but I am someone who can't tolerate this sort of stupidity anymore. Stupidity that contains a myriad annoying undertones such as racism, scoffing, undue nosiness... I've become so confrontational that I had to stop myself from screaming at my shadow the other day to ask why the heck it was following me.
I have no idea how this is related to the past paragraph. Work with me here...
Along with solitude, my old man senses hate light. I love the dark or just regular sunlight lighting up the rooms. I hate light bulbs with the passion of a thousand burning stars.
Take that, light bulbs.
I've developed a particular aversion to white light and I can only handle soft yellow light from weakened light bulbs. I'm either an old man or a vampire. I hate the heat, thrive in the cold, and love to wrap myself in my fluffy blanket and slippers.
This whole solitude thing stinks. I really hate people. Not all people, seeing as I jump at the chance to talk to the ones who have moved far away and my body threatens to go into cardiac arrest when I get a long-awaited email from the adrenaline rush... just idiots. I hate idiots.
I used to be someone who tolerated the foolish such a people person.
The good times are gone, sonny-boy.
The good times are gone, sonny-boy.
